These Rough Waters

Once upon a time, a girl told a boy she loved him.

She didn't do this with any expectations or hidden motives. She simply felt he deserved to know the truth. She wanted him to remember, especially during life's toughest moments, that he was truly loved.

Now, don't get the wrong idea...

This story may have opened with "once upon a time," but it's no fairy tale. It's real life, which means it's messy. Confusing. Beautiful and broken. There's no "happily ever after;" instead, there are a series of lessons. Love is often a tapestry of heartache and relief; different threads weave through each other, creating a baffling (yet breathtaking) image.

I've heard, and read, and believed that women are not supposed to say "I love you" first.

One book went so far as to claim that women ought to "shut up & be mysterious." Let the man pursue you, the authors of this book urged. Let the man chase after you. Let him fall hopelessly in love with your evasiveness.

And, most importantly, never EVER let him know how you really feel about him. That is, apparently, the kiss of death. Love must be kept quiet, until it's guaranteed to be returned. If you express your feelings first, you give away all your secrets. There's nothing left to be desired.

I suppose that's one way of looking at it.

But there's a flipside to that coin, right? Maybe?
Life is short. Too short to bite your tongue, in my opinion. None of us are promised to live 'til tomorrow.

If we really believed today might be our last, would it change our course of action? I think it would. My friend lost her husband in 2013. One morning, she woke up with him beside her. The next morning, he was gone.

And that is real life, folks. That's how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

So, in my opinion, if something needs to be said, say it. Today. This very minute. In fact, pick up the phone right now...

Ok, let's get back to our original NON-fairytale:

This girl told the boy that he had opened her eyes to a world she'd never imagined. He had taught her how to care about someone without expecting anything in return.

The boy had shown her how liberating it can be to put someone else's needs above her own.

He'd helped her become brave.

Call me crazy, but I can't see a downside to that.

If women aren't supposed to express their feelings first, then I'm a disgrace to my entire gender. Frankly, I'm ok with that. My job isn't to follow some dusty old roadmap or adhere to someone else's rules. My job is to navigate these rough waters in the best way I can, with the tools I've been given.

So let's set sail, shall we?

Love,
Lisa