(Never-) Mind the Gap

 

 

 

This is a cruel world for girls.

My friend and I have ongoing debates about this subject. He insists that life is equally difficult for men.

"Grasshopper," he says, using the nickname I've grown to love, "Men face just as much pressure as women. They are subject to just as many expectations and demands, although those demands may be slightly different."

I can't understand that.

Perhaps it's true, but I have seen the way women are objectified. I have succumbed to the insane pressure to be unrealistically (and destructively) thin. I've had to teach myself that it's ok to have imperfect hair or an imperfect nose. Or a ribcage that doesn't protrude the way it once did.

In my experience, women are supposed to be mysterious and reserved. They're expected to sit back instead of taking the reins. Many books claim that women should be passive, patient, and calm. Seriously...there's a whole genre of books dedicated to making us more "feminine" by teaching us to be demure. These aren't books from the 1950's, either. They are new and popular and readily available on your Kindle.

There are a ton of rules to being a girl, huh?

Overstep a boundary, gain five pounds, or speak out of turn and you're basically ejected from the game.

No pressure.

I'm 30 years old. Most my friends have spouses and kids, but I still haven't decided if I want children.

Some days, I wonder how it would feel to hold my own baby in my arms. Other days, I fly around the country in a state of pure bliss and reflect on how thankful I am to be uninhibited, unattached, utterly free.

If  I do have a child someday, and if that child is a girl, I can promise this much: I will love her so deeply that she won't be able to resist loving herself. I'll tell her she is gorgeous, and she undoubtedly will be. Whether her hair is brown or black or blond (which doesn't seem likely, considering my own dark shade), whether she is a size zero or a size fourteen, whether she has my big Italian sniffer or one of those cute button noses I've always admired...she will be simply perfect. In her own way.

And I will constantly remind her of that.

I will celebrate her personality and her life choices. If she's shy and prefers to work behind the scenes, fantastic. If she's incredibly outgoing and Type A, that's wonderful too.

I hope she never hears the term "mind-the-gap-Mondays." Better yet, I hope she hears the term and laughs at its sheer absurdity. Because there's absolutely NOTHING appropriate or admirable about judging a woman based on the space between her thighs. It's disgusting, in my opinion. It's truly sick. Then again, many aspects of this world are ill, broken, degrading.

Fortunately, hope is not lost. Sure, this world is a tough place for a girl. I'll always believe that. However, I also believe it's possible to defy the norm. Break the mold. Ignore the negativity. Love yourself in a healthy way...and teach others to do the same.

Love,
Lisa

Hard Questions

Our first glance was years ago,
When I was new
But it wasn't til Valentine's Day
I saw you, met you, loved you.
And life flew by, that much is true...
Seemed our lives were spinning too-  
But here's our chance to start anew:
To do it all, through & through.
To travel the world, just us two.


My mother often asks me if it’s hard to date with my “vagabond lifestyle.”

Friends ask if it’s difficult to stay in touch with old buddies from high school and college.

Passengers ask me if I ever get tired. With wide eyes, they inquire whether the constant traveling ever gets too intense.

These are some tough questions. The answers are equally tricky.

Sure, Mom, it’s hard to maintain a romantic relationship when I spend approximately half the month at 30,000 feet above sea level. But when I do give my heart away, which happens every now and then, I make sure it’s handed off to someone willing to accept my unconventional schedule. See, I get to weed out the half-interested folks and focus on those truly deserving of my time. Does this mean I never get my heart broken? Absolutely not.  I’ve had my fair share of disappointments. But I’ve picked up the pieces and continued along….typically with a 150mph tailwind propelling me forward.

And yes, friends, there are times when I lose touch with old pals. It’s impossible to keep up with them on a daily basis, due to the nature of my job. But I enjoy writing letters (the old-fashioned kind, which travel via airmail and usually have some kind of colorful design on the cover). I’m also pretty good at calling/texting whenever something notable occurs. I do my best and, fortunately, I’ve selected friends who are brilliant and loyal and just altogether inspiring people. So we maintain a connection, despite the miles or months separating us.

Yes, passengers, I get weary. Sometimes I wake up in a hotel room with the blackout curtains drawn, and for a moment I can’t recall whether it’s night or day, summertime or winter. This can be draining. It can also be lonely. But those bleak moments are far outnumbered by ones filled with mesmerizing, all-consuming wonder. This planet is massive and dazzling. I’m willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep for the luxury of exploring this gorgeous green earth. In fact, that seems a very small price to pay.

I don’t mind these difficult questions.

I’m an optimist by nature, so I will answer each inquiry with an honest yet positive response. My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but there's enough brilliance to last even when the rainclouds roll in. I have a job I adore. I have friends and coworkers more amazing than I could ever describe. I have an opportunity to fly to cities I've never even heard of and meet people with backgrounds far different from my own. That's something I refuse to take for granted.

So bring on the questions. I’ll gladly share my perspective or, even better, take you along for the ride. Buckle up.

Love,
Lisa